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Dave Barry
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The Vics

The Story:
"Jeremy" started dating, and sleeping with, my 'friend' Kelly the first or second day they met, and then they started started dating for the two weeks she was visiting her mom, whom we knew. His sister told us he was cheating on her, and he all but confirmed it. so she slept with another guy, they got back together, then broke up, and I have nothing to do with either of them anymore. But I saw him online the other night, and just had to screw with his head a bit. 

Rayovac [9:49 PM]:  hey man 
Rayovac [9:49 PM]:  where the hell you been?

Rayovac [9:50 PM]:  your kid wants to talk to you
Rayovac [9:50 PM]:  is that you, Jeremy?

Rayovac [9:51 PM]:  or you, Fanny?
Rayovac [9:51 PM]:  are you going to ignore me??

Rayovac [9:52 PM]:  how dare you! money dont grow on trees! i need help raising this baby

Rayovac [9:53 PM]:  bitch! I know you see this! and I know you have money! youve been working at MickyDs, and you live with your parents!!
Rayovac [9:53 PM]:  If you dont want me to tell your parents about little Jeremy, you better send me some money, and acting like a father!
Rayovac [9:54 PM]:  answer me, Cheepland!!

Rayovac [9:54 PM]:  you told me you would always be there for us! whats changed?
Rayovac [9:55 PM]:  you asked me to marry you, and now you ignore me and your CHILD??? What the hell is wrong with you??
Rayovac [9:56 PM]:  fine, Jerm, if this is how you want to act, Im going to let the state go after you, and your parents will Know about their grandson! you really want little josh to know the state had to force you to help him?
Rayovac [9:57 PM]:  damn it Jerm!!!!!!!!!!!1

Rayovac [9:57 PM]:  answer me!!!!
Rayovac [9:59 PM]:  I can barely afford diapers! My aunt  is NOT going to keep letting me live here like this! my  uncle Ike wont let me keep working so little hours, and I need help!! The baby needs to see the doctor, he needs clothes, and food damnit! and it is your responsiblity to help raise him! You begged me to keep him, that you would always be there to help, and this is what you do?? Youre acting like my father!
Rayovac [10:00 PM]:  wtf Jerm!
Rayovac [10:00 PM]:  Jeremyyyy......
Rayovac [10:01 PM]:  I guess I'll start calling you at work, then. then maybe youll talk to me
Rayovac [10:02 PM]:  Jeremy Cheepland! You answer me right now, you pink loving asshole!
Rayovac [10:03 PM]:  I still have friends over there, you know.  I will call them if I need to. You dont want me to call them, do you?
Rayovac [10:04 PM]:   You remember what happened last time you pissed them off?
Rayovac [10:08 PM]:  Jeremy, baby, why are you doing this? I thought you loved us! you said you did, and I believed you!
Rayovac [10:09 PM]:  Jerm, please, talk to me! I dont want to go through the legal system, but I will if you dont start talking to me
Rayovac [10:10 PM]:  I have to go, the baby is crying.

Names and places, events and such have been
changed to protect the identity of the victims. Yadda yadda yadda. . . .